I GUESS I’LL NEVER GET USED TO IT.
December 22, my sister came home from Canada without anyone knowing it! And yes, she succeeded in surprising everyone in the compound! Even our neighbors and relatives from different places were shocked! Hahahahaha who wouldn’t be shocked? She just moved out a year ago and she’s back now! Ate naman, I know I am missable! HAHAHAHAHAH Guess who’s the happiest by the way? (Raises both my hand, so I’m typing using my foot right now! Hahaha)
If there’s such thing as an “ate’s girl” that would probably
describe my whole being! Hahahaha Seriously, as far as I can remember my sister’s
been my forever partner, even though we’re 6 years apart. She used to be my
mama every bahay-bahayan, the only store keeper I know every tinda-tindahan,
the doctor I run to every doctor-doctoran, my teacher in all subjects every teacher-teacheran and the only person I know who can be a mother, store keeper, doctor and
teacher in a span of 5 mins! HAHAHAHAHAH Growing up is so easy with her beside
me. But last year, she moved to Canada to be with Kuya TJ, her husband. Yes,
that was one of the hardest things that happened to my life last year. It’s like
I’m removing my arms, or my legs; it’s like removing a part of me that’s been
there for a long time. (uy kuya wag ka magtampo hahahahaha) I know, it’s
inevitable! Hey, all of us must grow up. All of us must face that someday. We
need to move out to be with someone God gave us as our real life partners!
Last year, I know it
took me weeks before my eyes run out of tears to cry. It was really painful and
scary because I am not used to being the eldest. I’ve been ate’s assistant but
I am never the one who decides on things. All the other things that ate’s
responsible of started to crept into my mind which made me scared of what’s
gonna happen that year. Also the thought of ate being far from me is just too
vast for me to accept. I can’t. I JUST CAN’T, until I am forced to, since she’s
already in Canada.
When she arrived last December, I cried hugging her. TEARS
OF JOY! 2015’s ending that time and I’ve been stretched and pulled in all
directions that year and her hug fixed every single part of my ripped body. My sem
just ended the night before they arrived that’s why I was also on hangover with
acads that time. It’s just that every time she’s there I know I am safe. The assurance
that someone is there, someone will catch you no matter what. Kuya and ate’s 3
week stay here means a lot to me! Away from acads, breathing fresh air outside
and just talking personally not through skype or messenger!
And last Saturday, they both headed back to Canada since it’s
just a short trip for Christmas and New Year. Days before their flight, I cried
myself to sleep and on the day of their flight I said to myself “No crying, camille.”
I am also hesitant to give my gift to ate because I know that will make us both
cry! “No crying, Camille” became my mantra that day! I manage not to cry a lot
on the airport unlike ate’s first trip, but little did I know I will burst when
we arrive home! I don’t know. Tears kept on falling.
I thought it will be easier to let go of her this time. I thought
it’s only hard during firsts, but it’s not. Maybe sending you off back to
Canada is not like wearing new shoes where you’ll have blisters which will hurt
so bad the first time you wear that shoes but you’ll get used to it as you wear
it again. Maybe sending you off to Canada is something I’ll never get used to.
But know that no matter what I only wish and pray for you and kuya’s happiness!
Love you both!
Hi ate, I didn’t mean to make you cry and I didn’t mean to
make you miss us more but ang duga mo kase e, you made me cry tonight. Yes I just
wrote it tonight after you sent me that long message! Thousand words run
through my mind and I feel like I’m going to burst any time, so I wrote it down
crying again. Hahahaha I love you always and I miss you so much!
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